Update: A great conversation was inspired by this post at my Facebook wall, check it out here: Facebook Conversation.
How can unfriending 1,100 Facebook friends help anyone better build their internet business?
I realize the headline might seem like a contradiction. So let me explain why I think downsizing my Facebook friends will actually help my internet business (and presence).
Internet Business, All Business, is About Service.
In about a month, I’m going to be making Start Marketing Smart, my new internet business endeavor, public. I’m not doing any formal launch sequence, my list is to small for that. Like I’ve said before, I’m launching with sparklers not fireworks.
The core backbone of my internet business is going to be service. I think that’s where internet business is going – service (maybe it should have always been there). All business is build upon great service, and I want to serve people one by one.
I want Start Marketing Smart to be an internet business that works hard so you can work smart.
To do this, I need to reconnect with people. I need to be hustling. I need to be out there commenting, listening and following up. It’s not a numbers game for me. It can’t be. Not in the early going. I want meaning.
By eliminating 1,100 complete strangers, I now can see the 330 people that I know. I know their faces. I know where they’ve come from, and I know what they’re doing.
I realize I could have changed the Facebook filter settings, and made lists. I looked into all that, but here’s the thing… I had no idea how I ever met them, why I was friends with them, what they did, or where they were with their internet business. Those aren’t the kind of relationships I want.
When I first got started with Facebook, I used to systematically friend up all of Mike Klingler’s friends. That’s the way he taught it back in the early days of Renegade Professional. I doubt he’d teach to do that anymore (but maybe he would).
I am not saying this is a terrible thing to do. With systematic friending, the rational is to use any social platform (like Facebook or Twitter) as a microphone. Surely, any performer doesn’t know or see the entire audience he/she is performing to. They just know that what they have to perform is ideal for the audience.
I get that, and if that is your goal, then that is what you should do. It works for the big dogg mass marketers. And it might work for Start Marketing Smart someday.
But Right Now, I Want to Start Building An Internet Business Built on Relationships
The way I want to start building my internet business is with a focus on relationships, familiarity and service on your needs. I want to be the mom and pop internet business that everyone knows to specialize in a few things and do those few things really well.
Business is relationships. Already, I can see how it helps me to focus. And my (our) ability to focus that will allow me (us) to create.
Slashing 1,100 friends on Facebook doesn’t mean I won’t make 1,100 more (fairly quickly I presume, and probably many of whom were friends before). But right now, it will allow me to slow down and find pace of mind.
Notice I didn’t say “peace.” I purposely said “pace.” I think internet business is a lot like running. First of all, it’s a marathon not a sprint. Second of all, the more steady the pace, the more comfortable, smooth and successful the outcome will be.
Right now, I can’t manage the excess 1,100 friends who I don’t know. And since my internet business model is a “one by one” model, I cut it back. I can manage 330.
In a society that is over-sized, I want small. I want to simplify and focus on less. Doing so will make me better. I can quickly target the essential things that matter most. There is no clutter to cut through.
As I learn to re: focus and put that focus on a smaller quantity of smaller things, I truly believe I will transcend my relationship with the world. Big statement, but I believe this.“Less isn’t more.” Less is better.
In my general life, I’ve found this newly adopted mindfulness to be very helpful too. Less makes for easier choices.
You reading this, if you like what I’m saying, friend me up on Facebook with a message. Say hello, let me know why you chose to be my friend on Facebook, let’s have an internet business relationship.
Update: A great conversation was inspired by this post at my Facebook wall, check it out here: Facebook Conversation.
Hi Eric. You have once again confirmed what I have thought. The same could be said for twitter. I am moving right along and you got me started. Thanks again How is the family. Ella must be growing like a weed. Take care.
Hi Morris,
Oh yeah, Ella is growing by the day. Talking new words by the day, and all in all reaching new levels of ultimate sweetness by the day. I love her so much.
Yes, I feel strongly about downsizing the internet so I can be a real person, have real relationships. The last thing I want to be is a parody of myself, or an extension of my ego with no real personal connections. But again, that’s how I’m choosing to build my internet business. That’s my model and I know what is best for me personally.
I still want to grow big and successful, but to get there, I believe small is not only more, it’s better.
Besides, I have connected with you in comments or at your blog in ages. I like you and we’re buds. I can help you, and you can help me. That’s the way the world goes round.
Thanks Eric I needed that.
Eric,
I love this post. It’s so thoughtful and from the heart. I only have about 300 friends on FB but I have found I have already forgotten why I am “friends” with some of them.
Moving forward I will adopt this attitude, so I know who my fiends are.
Thanks for sharing why you did this with us.
@Maria.
Thanks for commenting. I think anyone who is just starting should heed my words in this post. I’m glad you agree. I recommend “knowing” (on a virtual level) all of your friends. Connect with them. Comment on their stuff. Engage in dialog with them. That’s what we’re doing right now. You commenting here now will prompt me to remember you and find you on Facebook, or if you have a blog, I’ll peruse your blog and see what you do.
I’m here to help if you have questions or get stuck. Thanks again.
Eric,
I haven’t started my blog yet. I know everyone says just do it, but I have to find something where I will feel authentic, not just doing what everyone else is doing. This is taking me awhile and probably why I connected to your post.
Meanwhile I am learning from people like you.
Eric,
I found you post via the Unified Tribe and I have to say you’re right on the money. An internet business that uses social media as a platform to spread it’s message MUST BE BUILT ON RELATIONSHIPS.
Old school says it’s a numbers thing, new school says it’s relationships. I say it’s both. It’s one relationship at a time. Don’t worry about the numbers as they will come. I only befriend people on Facebook rarely, but when I do it’s ALWAYS with a personal note.
Keep sharing the great value that you have to offer.
Ken Pickard
The Network Dad
@Ken,
Thanks for the affirmation. For a start up especially, one relationship at a time. And in doing so, it helps to cut through the noise and stand out even if what you’re offering is the same. I appreciate you coming over to my blog.
Hey Eric. My principles for FB friends has remained the same – if there is no relationship, no friend. I believe that we need to focus on quality not quantity. I find it peculiar that strangers request to be friends without giving a reason – what’s the point? So what you have said resonates with me. Thank you for speaking out.
@Helen — First, I just want to say that I visited your blog and it looks really nice. Second, I agree that there is no point — whether building a business and using Facebook to build relationships, or just for being social — to friend someone up and not connect with messaging, commenting, or even “Liking.” Unless they’re a spy (lol).
Hi Eric, I’ll befriend someone of Facebook if they leave me a message. I need to do what you’ve done. I started doing it on Twitter. My problem is that somewhere I’ve signed up for automatic follow somewhere and don’t know where.
I turned off the ones I remembered.
I also need to set aside some time and go through the groups I’ve joined on Facebook. I’ve decided to do like you have and to work with quality and not quantity.
@Tracey — I really think it’s helpful to start small. Just in one day it’s helped me to clear the clutter out of my face, and connect with real people in an authentic way. This is my strength, and I think it might be your strength too. Not only that but it can be just that little spark that later will ignite a fire. I think that my fire was getting suffocated with too many inbox emails from everyone, most of whom I didn’t care about; too many Facebook friends I didn’t know, etc. Too much. I also recommend this for anyone just starting out or for those that have been at it for awhile but aren’t making much headway. Going back to the basics of life and business — it’s connection and relationship and service. That all leads to “memorable gratitude.” Here’s a cheers to memorable gratitude (which by the way is something I have for you). Thanks for commenting as always.
Hey, Eric! After I read your e-mail on this topic, immediately went and checked my Facebook friends and found that I was one of the 1100! My immediate reaction was, “I can’t believe he ‘unfriended’ me!” Then I came back and read the post and I understand.
I realized that it was MY fault for not connecting with you. Even though I have enjoyed your updates, e-mails and blog, I never did anything to acknowledge it or try to interact with you in any way. This taught me a valuable lesson in and of itself about my social media internet marketing. It can’t all be one-sided. I need to do my part too! Thanks for the update and post. Hopefully, we can re-connect again in the future.
@Steve — What a great comment — transparent to the bone! And what a good guy you are for making the realization you did as opposed to hitting ‘unsubscribe’ and cancelling me out of your life. THIS comment of YOURS is the perfect example of the kind of connection I’m talking about. Just a little comment, just a little something that will go a long way. It reciprocates too. By the way, as soon as I read this comment, before I even replied, I hurried over to Facebook to reconnect. So hope you find my friend request, and we can try again over there. I really appreciate your comment and glad you clicked through to read this post. Take care and will see you.
Yes, Eric, you’ve just confirmed for me what I’ve always felt. Everyone told me it was the numbers that counted. I never felt comfortable with that and maybe that’s why I never gave social media the attention I should have.
It goes without saying that if one is trying to brand oneself in a specific niche that you have to create relationships not just noise.
@Marie — You’re new website looks great! Glad to see that things are going well. You’re right. It’s not a numbers game. It’s a relationship that requires real connecting.
I read the above post right after you email it out yesterday. I kind of sailed through the Facebook part –OK, yeah, uh-huh, I read that more carefully later. Yet I was gripped by parts of what you said. It kind of surprises me that the Facebook focus got so much attention in the comments and in the Facebook discussion. Here is what excites me:
“The core backbone of my internet business is going to be service. … The way I want to start building my internet business is with a focus on relationships, familiarity and service on your needs. I want to be the mom and pop internet business that everyone knows to specialize in a few things and do those few things really well.”
Forgive me for referencing a post I made about our local hardware store. (http://budurl.com/ServiceAndValue) We love big – whether Mike Dillard or Home Depot. But in the crunch, we still prefer to talk to a real person, not a faceless customer support rep. The very comparison raises so many questions in my mind, and this isn’t the place here. But we all know how Staples and the other big stores killed the huge variety of local stationary stores. I just hope the analogy is baseless in this business. Because the model you are speaking of is becoming more and more needed. Expertise plus access. Value including pricing.
@Richard — Thanks Rchard. Glad you read deeply into the real point I was trying to make (not that the others didn’t but you made a point to comment about it).
I read your article and commented. In fact, the article is a perfect example of how I want to run my business. I’m including the URL again for those folks who may visit this page later: http://fitting-the-pieces.com/dick-puglia-illustrated-the-meaning-of-giving-value/ (Note to others: it’s a great article and I encourage you to read it)
My prediction for a mom and pop internet business is that the “Local Hardware Store” will have a rebirth at the dawn of the information age. The Internet is not even 20 years old yet. I’d like to think that good old fashioned values (the kind that my grandfather who owned an auto battery shop ran for 30 years and his father before him ran) will prevail. This doesn’t mean that principals of automation can’t be applied. It just means that like all businesses of the Golden Age that were successful, a genuine appreciation and pride in service will be paramount.
Millions, literally, millions of people need information, and many of them need information about how to create a presence on the internet, or how to use the social media platforms. Others simply want specific coaching that is targeted to the exact project they’re working on (sort of like your kitchen cabinets). And others yet would just rather have it done for them altogether (akin to “send over your men”). That’s my vision for an internet business.
My prediction is that in this space, there will be new life for the Dick Puglia’s of yesteryear. And that’s what I plan to be. And Richard, I hope you will accept my invitation to be a regular blogger at Start Marketing Smart. I love your writing. Always have.
Great post, Eric. Kind of like a good sermon, it really gets you thinking…about important things. Can indeed even be life-changing.
God bless,
Jerry
@Jerry — Thank you Jerry. That means a lot to me (especially coming from you). This has nothing to do with Facebook when I say this, but I’m really trying to live my life in a way that will leave a legacy for my children to model. A million intricate moves and decisions along the way. I find myself stopping these days, pausing to make the decision because I know I have more than just myself to think about. I know I’m not perfect, but this feels like a perfect practice. Have a great day.
Eric,
I found your post to be positively uplifting. Why, because you have hit the nail right on the head when it comes to your core business, service. Whether your main business is a product or service, it is service to the product or service that helps solidify people coming back again and again. This then builds a relationship.
Recently, a general contractor turned down a referral of one of my clients. I did not understand until he explained it to me. He turned it down because it is a building of a relationship that is more important and making money. He would made money, but it sacrificed the end result of having a solid long-term relationship with this client.
So facebook is an extension of your business and making relationships a fewer number of trusted people than a greater number of unknown people.
Keep these great posts coming!
Great post, Eric. As online business builders, we need to remember that behind the profile photo is a person! We need to be striving to build a relationship with those we serve. Thanks for the reminder!
Nicole
Hi Eric, Last month I deleted my entire friends list and deactivated fb. I’m going to activate fb in July and be more selective on who I choose as my friends. I will seek a few good mentor’s and hopefully you’ll be one of them. You write some of the best content I have ever read and look forward to reading more. Hopefully, I can do the same in the near future. I’m not afraid to say that I do need more training in the computer technical details. Once this is accomplished, I will then set up my blog.
@George — That’s a great compliment. Thank you. I appreciate your comment. Regarding content creation, I’m in the process of creating a low priced “create your content marketing system” product. Will be under $97, probably not over $50. I see most people intimidated by paid advertising, so the only left to do is create valuable content, but there are subtles that need to be followed. I want to teach people those things.
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